HOW TO BATHE YOUR CAT (Stolen Humor and tooooo FUNNY!)
1. Know that although the cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength. Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don't try to bathe him in an open area where he can force you to chase him. Pick a very small bathroom. If your bathroom is more than four feet square, I recommend that you get in the tub with the cat and close the sliding -glass doors as if you were about to take a shower. (A simple shower curtain will not do. A berserk cat can shred a three-ply rubber shower curtain quicker than a politician can shift positions.) 2. Know that a cat has claws and will not hesitate to remove all the skin from your body. Your advantage here is that you are smart and know how to dress to protect yourself. I recommend canvas overalls tucked into high-top construction boots, a pair of steel-mesh gloves, an army helmet, a hockey face-mask, and a long-sleeved flak jacket. 3. Use the element of surprise. Pick up your cat nonchalantly, as if to simply carry him to his supper dish. (Cats will not usually notice your strange attire. They have little or no interest in fashion as a rule.) 4 . Once you are inside the bathroom, speed is essential to survival. In a single liquid motion, shut the bathroom door, step into the tub enclosure, slide the glass door shut, dip the cat in the water and squirt him with shampoo. You have begun one of the wildest 45 seconds of your life. 5. Cats have no handles. Add the fact that he now has soapy fur, and the problem is radically compounded. Do not expect to hold on to him for more than two or three seconds at a time. When you have him, however, you must remember to give him another squirt of shampoo and rub like crazy. He'll then spring free and fall back into the water, thereby rinsing himself off. (The national record for cats is three latherings, so don't expect too much.) 6. Next, the cat must be dried. Novice cat bathers always assume this part will be the most difficult, for humans generally are worn out at this point and the cat is just getting really determined. In fact, the drying is simple compared with what you have just been through. That's because by now the cat is semi-permanently affixed to your right leg. You simply pop the drain plug with your foot, reach for your towel and wait. (Occasionally, however, the cat will end up clinging to the top of your army helmet. If this happens, the best thing you can do is to shake him loose and to encourage him toward your leg.) After all the water is drained from the tub, it is a simple matter to just reach down and dry the cat. In a few days the cat will relax enough to be removed from your leg. He will usually have nothing to say for about three weeks and will spend a lot of time sitting with his back to you. He might even become psycho ceramic and develop the fixed stare of a plaster figurine. You will be tempted to assume he is angry. This isn't usually the case. As a rule he is simply plotting ways to get through your defenses and injure you for life the next time you decide to give him a bath. But at least now he smells a lot better
Grooming supply links.
Grooming your DOG: If you've ever bathed your pet at home and have also been to see a professional groomer, you may have wondered what it is we'd do differently or why going to see a pet stylist with a beagle, would be something you'd do. You can do what we do in your own home and if you invest in the equipment to do it, you'll save yourself money. Here are the TRICKS to making your dog look, feel and smell fabulous for not just ONE day, but for 2-3 wks.
What you need and I'd recommend
...
A larger fine toothed slicker brush, greyhound steel comb, for full coated breeds, grey dematting blade, nail clippers.
Plum Silky Shampoo, Quicker Slicker, Aloe Re moisturizing Conditioner, Plum Silky Cologne (All Natures Specialties products)
Fresh and Clean or PAWS are good colognes too. You CAN buy cheap shampoo at your pet store, but none are as good as Natures Specialties, in my opinion.
Cotton swabs and rubbing alcohol.
2 to 5 large towels, depending on your dogs size.
A Bucket, or shower spray attachment.
A safe, elevated flat surface, to save your back when trimming nails, cleaning ears and brushing.
A place to attach your slip lead when in the tub and outside too.
A High velocity force dryer, which blows out dead coat, drys, straightens, separates and makes hair feel soft.
Last but not least... a good back, cause bathing your pet at home, means you might be sore afterwards.
1. First you'll want to get cotton swabs and rubbing alcohol to clean the ears, Alcohol evaporates quickly and is a degreaser, to break up wax build up. Water in the ears will cause ear infections (never intentionally put water in your pets ears) and also try not to accidentally get water in your pets ears while bathing. You can pack the ears with cotton, or just tip their heads back while washing the top of their head, to avoid soapy water running into eyes or ears. Brush and COMB coat thoroughly. Trim nails, using diagram in earlier blog post. (This is called roughing in your pet)
2. Have towels handy beside your tub and one on the floor to prevent you or the pet from making a mess. A slip lead. A Bucket or a high power shower spray works best. Have your pet shampoo "made especially for pets" (NEVER use human shampoo, our PH balance is different and it will cause them dry skin, while pet shampoos and conditioners will leave our hair looking and feeling greasy) and be prepared to get wet! If you have something to attach the leash to in your tub, this is always best, but if not, you'll have to step on the lead, so that you can use both of your hands.
3. First saturate your pets coat with luke warm water, head last, because they will inevitably shake once you've wetted their head and sometimes that never... ever... ends. LOL
4. Apply shampoo in a long strip down the middle of their back and rub into their coat. Be sure to get it evenly rubbed in everywhere, especially around the most stinky parts... which are in the same spots on dogs as they are on people, just about. Full coated breeds need special attention payed their face and neck, because of drool and sloppy water drinking habits.
5. When you've finished. RINSE really well! Then... one of the tricks to making a long lasting impression. REPEAT these exact same steps again!
6. Applying a conditioner is optional, but it always makes a huge difference and you'll be glad you did, no matter their length of hair or the condition of their coat.
7. RINSE WELL... I can't stress that enough, cause if you don't your pet will have itchy skin and you shouldn't leave any kind of soap OR conditioner in their coats.
8. Towel dry as much as possible, before letting your pooch out to shake.
9. SECOND TRICK! QUICKER SLICKER... is a must have and pet cologne of any kind. Saturate the coat with both after towel drying.
10. Take them outside, tie them to whatever seems most sturdy (cause dog hair will be ever where, if you try to do this inside your home). Get out the high velocity dryer, look for a near by outlet and then force their coats dry, while at the same time brushing to remove dead hair. This is called fluff drying and if you take your pet to the groomer, always ask that they fluff dry your pet, because some groomers will skip this step and it makes a HUGE difference what your pet looks, feels and smells like. WET DOGS... when left to dry naturally, smell a lot like WET DOG once they are dry. LOL
Waaaaaa LAAAAAAA... You're done! You might smell like the dog did, be sopping wet, have dog hair in your mouth, pet shampoo all over your clothes, bathroom floor and you're a little sore, but your dog is all brand new again!!
Fun! :)
